Yes, but this gun fires...laser stuff. And that laser stuff will heat the pan! I’ll make pancakes for EVERYONE.

–Haken Wastia

The poetic poet
Haken Wastia
Biographical Information
Race Human
Gender Disputed
Born 60 AF
Birthplace Lasaria
Spouse(s) Alliana Wastia
Children Brayden Wastia
Pancakes Delicious
Political Information
  • Shakespeare
  • Axel's gang
  • Mercenary (sort of)
  • Failed Poet
  • Not-Failed Novelist
  • Pancake Connoisseur
Combat Information
Fighting Style
  • Classical Swordfighting
  • Fainting
Combat Role
  • Comic Relief
  • Placeholder Pilot
  • Irrationally Sexy Battle Poet
  • Large, heavy books
  • Sulfuric Pancakes
HMV Guildenstern
OOC Information
First Appearance Rise
Creator Ryoma

Haken Wastia is a young poet who has served alongside Axel Erachin since their first mission. He is known among his fellow mercenaries under such loving names as “the poet” or “the useless one.” Haken prefers to spend his time writing poetry, and only after training with Karl Vladick did Haken finally get the ability to defend himself. He’s lived this long almost entirely due to his sentient H.M.V., Guildenstern. The two of them have quickly learned how valuable they are to each other, and have become inseparable.


Haken’s teenage years were a time he’d rather soon forget. High school was unpleasant for him at the best of times, and he would come home only to get berated by his parents and his sister, Kara. Thus, Haken turned to books as an escape, and he read everything he could get his hands on voraciously. Books quickly became his second home, and he started to prefer them over his reality.

Haken was always a unique child, with a fondness for a time long past. He quoted Shakespeare and other classical works readily, broadening his vocabulary with more words than he could keep track. This led to his trouble communicating with others, and gave him his unique manner of speaking.

Needless to say, his parents did not approve of Haken’s life choices. They constantly pushed him to be what they considered to be “normal” but all of their attempts were met with Haken’s deaf ears. When he told them he wanted to go to college and become a poet, that was the last draw. At twenty, Haken was kicked out of his parents’ home, and sent to get by on his own.

Time passed and somehow Haken managed to stay afloat, but only just. He continued to pour all of his time and effort into his writing, with little to no results. Bad deal beget bad deal, and it wasn’t long before Haken found himself over his head in debt. Ten years after leaving his parents’ house, he suddenly found himself entirely unable to make ends meet, and was in desperate need of cash.

Desperation begets brilliance, of course, and Haken was certainly desperate. While browsing the internet, Haken saw a pop-up ad alerting him that he was the millionth visitor to this particular website and had won a free H.M.V. He eagerly clicked the link, and to everyone’s surprise but his own, he found that the offer was legit, and he found himself in command of one of the most advanced H.M.V.s at the time. Haken named it after a character from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, and thus, Guildenstern was born.

Selling the H.M.V. would not produce enough money to cover his debts, and thus Haken decided to try his poetic hand as mercenary work. He joined up with Axel Erachin, and managed to get himself completely intertwined in a story that was far larger than his own. It was here that Haken first met Yvonne Dafoe, a woman who had somehow managed to get her own writing published. They had formed a kind of friendship, but unfortunately, Haken did not make many other connections with the others on this first adventure.

He did cover his debts though.

When he got the call from Axel a second time, Haken joined up. He had been hunted by the Gentlemen for the past year, and only survived because of Guildenstern’s help. After a particularly gruesome encounter on this mission, Haken knew he could not just let Guildenstern do all the work for him. Haken had to become competent on his own. He trained with Karl Vladick, turning his natural dance proficiency into quick swordplay.

Personality and IdeologyEdit

Haken has one goal in life. To become a famous poet, renowned for the brilliance of his writing and for his deep insights. He works long hours struggling over his manuscripts, constantly seeking the perfect story.

Unfortunately, he has been able to realize his dream, due to his work ranging for subpar to downright terrible. This has done nothing to break his spirit, however, as Haken continues to work in the hopes of one day seeing his work on the bookshelves. Haken finds surprising strength in himself when it comes to others, especially his H.M.V. Guildenstern. He has stood up for his H.M.V. more than once, as he realized just how much that H.M.V. meant to him. Guildenstern is one of the few Haken can claim as his friend, and certainly the one who has stood by him the most. It’s no exaggeration to say that Haken would be lost without him.


Haken has dabbled with a number of weapons, specifically the sword and the gun. During the first mission, he used the sword almost exclusively, with subpar results. Smartening up, on the second mission he armed himself with a ray gun. And tried to cook pancakes with it.

He has since turned back to the sword, and found it to truly be the weapon of choice for him. He can be deadly with it in close range.


Haken “pilots” a sentience H.M.V. named Guildenstern, a red and white robot with an advanced AI within.

Connections to Other CharactersEdit

Axel Erachin has made it abundantly clear that he hates Haken. Haken rarely talked to Axel, and thus has done little to sway the cowboy's opinion.

Haken met Yvonne Dafoe early on in their first mission. He was completely enraptured by the fact that she had done the seemingly impossible task of getting a book published, despite the fact that just about no one read it. They were since forced to work together on a number of missions after the fact, where Haken grew to respect Yvonne more and more and the latter began to tolerate the former. Their relationship has continued down this path, and Haken certainly would consider Yvonne his friend.

More recently, Haken came in contact with Kanade Orihara where they had to infiltrate a ballroom. This led to Haken showing up his considerable dancing skills, and Kanade's considerable lack thereof. He had enjoyed dancing with her immensely, not only because it was something that he was better than her at, but because it gave him a moment to really be himself and not be judged for it. There is something in Kanade that Haken really liked, and still does, though he cannot figure out what that is.